Embers

I often times have moments when I realize how small I am compared to the world. Looking at the sky tonight is one of those times. Somewhere off in the distance, some one is the source of the beautiful explosions caused by chemicals reactions. The many explosions all around me give me the feeling of being small. I am one person. These are strangers. Maybe some one I know. The blackness of the night makes it unknown. The still lights of buildings throw off my sense location. In one direction is fading pops. The other direction, attractive bulbs of tiny colored embers form a brilliant circle. The fact that a circle is a basic shape simply disappears in the beauty of the flaming pieces of dying dust. On the next street, pops are leaping into the sound waves, booming to be heard. How can something so close feel so anonymous? I am a mere cell in the sea.

Build Me a Backbone

Your scent of my motives is weak.
My denial falters your judgment.
You ask. I banter. Derailing your train of thought.
My time standing up is straight is spent.

Build me a backbone to rest upon.
A wall to support my structure.
A skeletal fragment of nerve.
A way to inhale your lecture.

God must be playing a game.
I'm the tinker toy of his choice.
Please build me a backbone.
Not of flesh and tissue just used to hoist.

I'm deceitful in all of my ways but most.
A few things locked in my passionate folder.
So would you please build me a backbone?
To seize this off of my shoulders.

I have a spine.
Composed of cartilage and nerve endings.
Used to feel, heal, hurt, and repair.
But a backbone is what I need to barricade my pretending.

As proud as I am.
As happy as I seem.
I am a excavated ribcage.
Build me a backbone just for me.

I keep spreading this rumor.
Someone isn't who they seem.
I am intimately that person.
The internal droid that hides my dream.

Build it from fact.
With my in crested signature.
Fasten it into my soul.
Sync it with a ligature.

So build me a backbone.
Stop my eager grinning tooth.
It spreads so little from it's stained friend.
It leaks all but my determined truth.

Blind

Catch me in my own comparativeness.
I had what you desperately desired.
Using your lungs to find myself.
Your scenes engulfed in this fire.

She lives through this sheet
of unnecessary shadow
Using my eyes
to find the motive to let go.

Why can't you see
The vines that hide inside of me?
Tendrils of life trying to be free.
but even with my blind eyes you can't find what we need.

This sarcastic remnant
The arogent stench.
Crawling inside my hollow sockets.
Moving with out a flinch.

eating at my memories.
Taunting at my viens.
Pulling me into myself.
Imploding leaving no remains.

Only the area
in which I left.
Can you feel me earning
into yourself?

The dirt under your nails
trying to claw out of your skin.
Your locked in your body
Your mind wiped clean of sis.

Existing in the dirt.
Only as a smile.
I'll be with you shortly.
just wait a little while.

As difficult as it is.
As futile as my aspirations seem.
I rip at my blind eyes
until you and me could be.

Enough.

In this world
Only one thing is guaranteed.
The sight of the daylight
is given to me.

You ask for so much.
When you get it you ask for more.
But all I need is what's entitled to me
The feel of the sunrise in my core.

And that's enough.
To feel myself exist is enough.
To take a shallow breath is enough.
The daylight of the Earth is enough.

The universal gift everyone has felt.
The sunrise that makes your insides melt.
The warmth in the distance a million miles away.
It crumbles our knees to make us look its way.

And that's enough.
The draft that entices me is enough.
The weight of its presence is enough.
The fact that its there is enough.

The one thing in life everyone has witnessed.
An astronomic sphere that controls my moves.
The daylight wakes my being.
Weather it's by sight or by feeling.
The one thing that I never want to loose.

And that's enough.

Homecoming Reject.

Being that I can not get a date to homecoming, I decided to hit up an offer to got eat at Applebee's with some friends. The group of us waited for like an hour till we got a small booth for the eight people we had with us. Our waiter was quick and very funny. I being the poorest one asked for a water with a free plate of lemon slices so I can make my own free lemonade. He got our orders and was on his way. A little while later he came back with a napkin and asked if I could write down a fake phone number on it. In my mind, I thought the other waiters had bets of which waiter can get the most phone numbers. I gladly accepted and began to write. While I was performing the task at hand the waiter started to give the explanation of why he needed this unusual deed done. His logic was this. "There is a gay employee over there named Peter and I saw you were just like him and I wanted to know if you can write down a number and see if he takes it". Now, the minute he started talking, I got the clue. I stared at Ekuase mouthing to her' "he thinks I'm gay, he thinks I'm gay", repeatedly. After about two minutes of him explaining this he finale says "and if you're not gay, I am going to feel like a complete asshole". By this point I was no longer embarrassed. I was more embarrassed for him. He gathered from everyone's laughter that I was indeed not gay. I broke through the obnoxious laughing and I told him that I wasn't and he said son of a bitch and walked away. A few minutes later he came back and declared, "There goes my tip", apologized more than a hundred times, and handed me a lemonade and said "no charge". My life is average.

Proper English.

So being that my mother is such a loving mother, she suggested to me that if it is pouring in the morning, I will not have to go to school. Her logic behind this is very educated. Here is my point. My mother said, "If it is flooding here, then it is flooding there. I don't want to go out and get drowndicated." And to think, she graduated high school. way to go private education. You have done your duty. YES! I asked my mother what type of school did attend. She answered private. She included that she hated it. "All there was there was racisest". she said. Just keep on talking mom.

Because of Winn-Dixie

So yesterday I went to Winn-Dixie with my mom. She was on a mission to get three things; sinus medicine, ear drops, and bread. Bread was the first thing she grabbed so next up was the medicine. Down the isle we went when I noticed a spill on the floor. It was pinkish with a white-silverish tint. I stepped over it and continued on our journey. Patty got what she wanted and started for the front of the isle. So I instinctively turned and headed in the same direction. After four minutes of medicine browsing, my attention was shot. My foot didn't grip the floor and my leg jolted forward causing me to flail my arms and my body to be in a split position. My left thigh landed right in the pinkish substance. It splashed on my arm the surrounding shelf products. I stood revealing that the pinkish liquid was not a spill but the smell made it known that it was someone else's bile! Someone threw up in a lane at Winn-Dixie and I, of course, had to be there at that moment. Totally gross.

Throw Back Moment

All of this week in particular, I have been hearing these random throwback songs. Joan Jett, Carly Simon, Cher. Really Cher? What does it all mean? And is it weird that I am getting them for my ipod? Yes I can't resist the power of the Trow back Women!

Windows 98

Still use it even though it's ancient. It works guys. We haven't lost it yet. The funnest thing to do when you have Windows 98, is to call an internet subscriber and when they ask for your model, you reply with Widows 98. There is a silence then a hold on. Try it out!